RANDOM :)

had been so lazy to update.

to type in details.

:)

sat: pasir ris, tampines, changi, pasir ris, ang mo kio.

sun: defu lane, pasir ris, yew tee, ang mo kio.

last day of the month.

rainy day.

moody mood.

HELPLESS!

IM REALLY USELESS!

I CANT HELP B AT ALL!

REALLY HELPLESS!

CANT BE BY HIS SIDE!

THE ONLY THING I COULD NOW IS CHEER HIM ON USING TEXTS!

ROOTING FOR HIM!

SENDING TEXTS AND MMS TO HELP HIM ENDURE THIS WEEK.

THATS THE LEAST I COULD DO!

I BELIEVE HE CAN DO IT!

STRESS!

IM SCHEDULED FOR AN INTERVIEW AT 3PM.

i received the call in less than 3 hours after sending my resume over.

its so fast can, efficient.

I WILL ACCEPT THE JOB IF THE ENVIRONMENT AND BENEFITS IS GOOD.

NOT BEING FUSSY.

AS I HAD NIGHTMARE IN THOSE PLACES WITH BAD ENVIRONMENT.

hope i can pass it at one go.

i simply hates interview.

always asking the same questions.

THANKS B FOR THE SUPPORT.

BLESS ME BLESS ME BLESS ME.

SIMPLE THINGS THATS MAKE ME SMILE.

JUST A FEW HOURS OF MEET UP.

MAKES ME SMILE THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT.

I WANT MAGIC!

I WISH I HAVE MAGIC!

THEREFORE I CAN TURN LOTS OF MONEY OUT!

:)

I WANT LOTS OF STUFFS!

I WANT MAC MAKEUP BRUSHES AND PALETTE.

MAC MAKE UP KIT. :)

BOBBI BROWN LINERS.

SHISEIDO MASCARA.

AND MORE.

I WANT MORE TOPS.

THE MORE THE MERRIER.

I WANT HANDBAG.

I HAVE BEEN SAVING FOR THE BURBERRY BAG.

BUT NOW HAVE TO SAVE AGAIN.

I WANT NEW PHONE.

im using B's omnia.

OMNIA II IS NICE!

I WANT TO SAVOUR NICE GOOD FOOD AGAIN.

田鸡粥

steamboat (tomyam and kimchi soupbase)
tomyam for me, kimchi for B. :)
fast food.
drooling~

MR LIN CAN YOU FUFILL MY LAST REQUEST?

田鸡粥

LOVES!

even though its been so long, my love for you keep going strong.

i miss you like crazy.

i miss you, baby.

although we didnt managed to hear each other yesterday, but im contented with your texts.

these two nights are the most horrible one.

you only reached camp at 1plus am on monday,

yesterday you reached at 2.12am.

hope you have enough rest and dont fall sick.

i could only send you texts to cheer you on. :)

and mms to let you miss me more. =D

no matter what, i will be there for you.

accompanying you through this journey.

ILY.

"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

PRESSURIZED!

im feeling so pressurized!

mum had been urging me to look for a job!

i seriously dont know what i want to work as.

in which industry!

look through the webpage but nothing interest me!

OMG! what should i do!

SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICES, PLEASE.

RAINY = MOODY

my mood changes when it comes rainy day.

feeling blue since morning.

hes back to camp yesterday.

is a full pack schedule for him this week.

keep going on.

like you always says

WE ARE WITH EACH OTHER ALWAYS EVEN THOUGH WE DONT SEE EACH OTHER.

***********************************

missing your touch

missing your hug

missing your tender kiss

missing your smile

missing your laughter

missing your voice

missing your hand holding mine

missing your carelessness

missing your shoulder for me to cry on

SIMPLY MISSING YOUR EVERTHING.

although we are meeting lesser

that doesnt means we dont care

as we have placed each other in our hearts.

i enjoy my moment with you be it a few hours.

i enjoy my dinner with even if its a simple fare.

i enjoy walking back home with you.

I LOVE YOUR COMPANY.

ITS YOU, B.

i love you lots.

FOREVER

I'll be loving you forever,

Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never,

Even if you took my heart,

And tore it apart,

I would love you still, forever,

You are the sun,

You are my light,

And you're the last thing on my mind,

Before I go to sleep at night,

You're always round,

When I'm in need,

When trouble's on my mind,

You put my soul at ease,

There is no one in this world,

Who can love me like you do,

That is the reason that I,

Wanna spend forever with you

We've had our fun,

We've made mistakes,

But who'd have guessed along that road,

We'd learn to give and take,

It's so much more than I could have dreamed,

Cause you make loving you, so easy for me,

Cause this is the world,

where lovers often go astray,

But if we love each other, we won't go that way,

So put your doubts aside,

Do what it takes to make it right,

I love you, forever, no-one can tear us apart.

*************************

theres nothing i can do now, but only to wait patiently.

i hate the emptiness and loneliness in me.

no one seems to understand the feelings.

although people may think that im complaining or such.

i dont care.

i have no one to confine in and i dont want him to worry for me in camp.

i just want to let off the stone in my chest to my blog.

im missing him badly.

although we met on friday and saturday.

time seems to pass so fast when im with you.

friday, went to fetch you even though is only a few hours,

IM REALLY HAPPY.

I LOVE YOU, HAN

tiredness.

STRESS

i dont know what am i doing now.

seriously i dont know what kind of job im interested in.

i dont want a job whereby i can only stay for 3-5 months at most and tender again.

i hate looking for jobs.

i dont like interviews at all.

i hate waiting alone in the room till the interviewers comes.

i seriously hate it.

i hates the feeling of being alone.

emptiness, loneliness.

SAD

TO WHOEVER WHO LEFT A COMMENT ON THE SHOUTOUT, I HAD ALREADY REMOVE IT. WHO YOU MAY THINK IM A LOSER, BY ALL MEANS.

I ADMIT.

IM NOT COMPLAINING! IM JUST RANTING ALL THE UNHAPPINESS INSIDE ME TO THIS BLOG OF MINE AS I HAVE NO ONE TO CONFINE IN. YOU MAY THINK IM TRYING TO FIND EXCUSES BUT IM NOT. YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND THE FEELINGS IM GOING THROUGH AND YOU NEED NOT UNDERSTAND. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PROBLEMS TO THEIR LIFE. IM REALLY DISAPPOINTED TO SEE THESE KIND OF COMMENTS IN MY BLOG.

ENJOYABLE DAYS WITH YOU

8/8/09
celebrated Baby 21st birthday. brought baby to crystal jade for lunch. ordered dim sum, 2 different flavours porridge and B's hongkong zhar jiang mian. while eating, auntie(B's mum) called and asked me to join them for dinner at night. i was so undecisive and told her i will confirm with her later. bused back my place, talked to baby for very long, and he wanted me to join him and his family for dinner. i agreed and we bused back together to his place. everyone was deciding where to go for dinner. after long discussion they decided to go to changi village for seafood feast. they ordered lots of seafood and we are enjoying our food with laughter and small talks. sis took a couple of pictures before leaving. got a lift from uncle(B's dad) and alighted us at B's place and home sweet home.
9/8/09
Baby accompanied us for breakfast and grocceries shopping. :) bought B packet milo to bring to camp. took a nap and we went down to mama shop to buy chips and slack at the viod deck. B suggested having pizza or kfc for dinner. we discussed and is set on pizza. made our order online and waited for 1 and half hour. savour our pizza and B had to finish it all as we had our fill. had small talk with B before he leave. chatted with him on the phone throughout his ride back home. wanted to wait for him to finish packing his bagpack, but i fell asleep instead. >.<

10/8/09

called B when i woke up. wash up, make up and went to the hawker for breakfast with sis. bused down to elias mall and accompanied B for his haircut. reached his place and saw his gigantic bagpack and its heavy. had lunch with his parents, small talks and fruits. made baby to put on hydrating mask before he prepared himself to get changed. he wore his uniform and looked totally different. auntie cut honeydew for B before we set off to yew tee point. uncle drove us there and B fell asleep. we had subway for dinner. we enjoyed our sandwiches and cookies. even though its a simple fare but we enjoy each other company. after dinner, its time for B to get prepared to book in. i accompanied him through one traffic light and two blocks. we decided to part halfway as B is afraid i had to go walk back alone in the dark. i requested seeing him walking till i lost sight of him. B turned back as i was standing there crying. B told me not to worry and he will be out very soon. the very first time, seeing his back walking into the dark and i had to walk alone towards his opposite direction. i wasnt able to give him a hug to bid him goodbye or hold his hands to tell him not to worry. we had quite a long talk after his book in.

today, he texted me something which brighten my day up. thanks, baby. like what you said, theres no comparison in any relationship as long as we both LOVE, CHERISH AND ENJOY EACH OTHER COMPANY.

CONFUSED AND SAD

i was so happy in the afternoon at 1plus when i received your text. telling me you are back from your outfield training. after your third replied text, nothing came from you again. i was pacing up and down. my phone is dead, dont really know is my eyes playing tricks on me again or did you really text me. sigh* had spagetti for dinner, am so full, feeling so unwell. cant concentrate on anything. you said you will be out today!

IS HAS BEEN 31 DAYS!

HOW MUCH LONGER MUST I WAIT!

IS IT TOO MUCH!

ENDURANCE REALLY DO HAVE LIMITS!

im not sure of myself too. seeing people get to meet up but i dont get to. they are always telling me to be more accommodating, but they are not in my shoes they dont really know it feels. is awful! why am i always the one waiting and i dont get any fruitful labor?

TIRED

woke up on and off in the night, didnt really slept well. prepared myself and have my make up done. its been a long time since i put on make up, wasnt really comfortable with it. went out at 12 plus, trained to bugis. went to the temple to pray. followed up is shopping time. walked around bugis street, nothing caught my attention, over to parco instead. went charles and keith, there isnt much choices of flat pumps, so i left the shop. again, to my usual patron shop, mutiji, bought a pair of sharp pointed black pumps. made payment and left the shoes for expansion on the top. walk around looking for B's present. got into my neighbour working place, and asked his advices and decided to get that for baby. bought marshmallow from muji, all time favourite. back to collect my pumps and at this time my phone went haywire. totally react slow and cant do anything to it. on and off the phone numerous time. bused back from suntec, bought grocceries from fairprice. on the way back, bought chicken wings, egg tart and carrot cake from crystal jade as i didnt take my lunch and my stomach is growling non stop. bused back home, ate the food and exchange my sis spare phone battery. hope it wont give me any more problems. i dont want to update the software through the web as the texts cant be transferred to my SIM card. although saving all the texts into the SIM card seems foolish but its very meaningful to me, i had to bear the pain when i went to service my screen months ago and didnt manage to back up anything. i couldnt bear to do it this time round. when i was trying to send files from my phone, i received baby's text. i tried to open up but to no avail. i changed my SIM card to another phone is still the same. is my eyes playing tricks on me?

I WANT TO SEE HIM SOON.

missing him real bad.

cam-whoring before heading out. :)

MIXED FEELINGS

i started thinking what am i going to do next. dilemma. i dont know what kind of life am i expecting and what should i do to make my life more fufilling. these questions had been popping in my mind for days, but somehow i cant find an answer to it. sometimes, these problems really stressed me out. i couldnt get to sleep, SERIOUS INSONMIA. woke up in the morning, always staring blank infront of my laptop doing nothing. wanted to find someone to talk to but it seems so difficult. my life seems to have changed drastically. i just want something peace and fulfilling. is it too much to ask for?

PISSED!

FUCKING PISSED OFF! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! FUCK OFF! ALL BEACUSE OF YOU FUCKING BASTARD, IM BEING RANTED THE WHOLE NIGHT! JUST FUCKING GET OFF MY SIGHT! IDIOTIC FUCKER!

WHAT DOES MY FACIAL EXPRESSION CONCERN YOU!

MY EXPRESSION IS ALWAYS A BLACK FACE.

IF YOU FUCKING DONT LIKE, THEN YOU FUCKING DONT SEE.

NO ONE ASKED YOU TO LOOK AT ME.

ONLY KNOW HOW TO ORDER PEOPLE TO DO THIS AND THAT!

YOU FUCKING SO CLEVER YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT YOURSELF.

DONT THINK YOU CAN CLIMB OVER MY HEAD AND MESS AROUND WITH ME!

YOU FUCKING THINK YOU CAN MESS MY LIFE UP!

YOU FUCKING WISHFUL THINKING!

DONT THINK YOU CAN FUCKING INFLUENCE ME!

YOU BLOODY IDIOTIC FUCKER!

DONT TRY TO PUSH YOUR LUCK!

I WONT FUCKING STAND ON CEREMONY RECITING THE THREE WORDS HOKKIEN IDIOMS.

ONE BY ONE!

RANDOM day

woke up at 6.30am, prepared myself over to the opposite park to have my morning jog and brisk walking. my stamina is really getting worse. couldnt really jog more rounds as before. brought blackcurrant with aloe vera and apple with aloe vera fruit juice. :) it tastes sweet, but after a few mouthful, is quite appetitizing. bought mushroom shredded chicken noodles home for breakfast. reached home kinda late today, mum had left for work. usual routine. looked through website for jobs. but none is really suitable. try my luck again tomorrow. no matter what, secure a job at the moment is my top priority. doesnt feel good without money by my side. :)

i seems to get used without having his texts and calls, BUT i want to see him soon.