DEPRESSED!

i doesnt know what im doing now! simply messed up relation. is it purely my fault? i do think of your feelings, but who think of my feelings? understanding doesnt need to spell out all the time. i changed? because of my illness? then did you ever spare a thought for me? i had been sick for so long, i didnt want it too. on and off nausea, is not that fun. i also wanted to go out to do shopping and chit chat session with friends. but HOW DO I GO? NAUSEA IS KILLING ME! can you think of how im feeling first before you said i didnt spare a thought for you. yours can be cure, but mine is following me LIFETIME. will never know when it will come back to you. im totally disappointed. who can i pour my unhappiness to? all these while i had been shouldering all myself, bringing a strong front towards others to show that im fine. truth is im not well at all, discomfort times i can only endure it myself. you dont even know how i endure all my unhappiness and discomfort times alone. im really very tired of repeating myself to you anymore. just take it that im unreasonable or anything you think im. it doesnt matter to me anymore. IM ALL ALONE ALWAYS. I CAN HANDLE ALL OF IT BY MYSELF. you said all of a sudden i behave like this, its because you only care about yourself, not me. you are always saying you care, but deep inside you only worried about not able to go out and stuffs. then what about me? all my waiting had gone to waste. i thought it was my fault but come to think its not totally me. i had already thought it over to wait for another 2 weeks, but you keep emphaising this weekend and stuffs will make me even worse. PLEASE SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ME. i dont know what will happened to me, when i collect my report on tuesday. spare me from agony please. *not trying to pin point on anything.