im on mc today. couldnt get to sleep or get some rest. the heavy rain woke me up first, follow up with the non stop drilling, then my office called. had to go back to work no matter how sick am i.

i really dont understand what i myself is doing.

simply dont.

i had decided to forget you.

but im like lingering on and on.

my mind had been flashing through scenes when we were outside hilton haggen daz.

can i be more heartless and get on with it?

you had it put up so clearly and im still holding on.

i feel like a COMPLETE HOPELESS IDIOT FAILURE ASS.

you will not look back and maybe im still putting some hope onto it.

just forget it and get on with life.

VANESSA, U CAN DO IT!