NAIVE!

I DOESNT REALLY KNOW WHAT IM DOING! ITS ALREADY OFF WAY TRACK. WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT AM I DOING?

IS MAKING ME NUTS. IM SO WRONG! THERE WILL BE NO OUTCOME BUT IM STILL HANGING ON!

I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS MISERY!

I DONT WANT TO SUPPRESS MYSELF ANYMORE.

I WANT TO LEAVE THIS THING FAR AWAY FROM ME!

I DONT WANT TO HAVE THINGS LINGERING ON ANYMORE. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I REALLY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I HATE MY FAKE SMILES, FAKE LAUGHS AND FAKE MOODS.

I REALLY HATE MYSELF BEHAVING THIS WAY!

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

ALONE ALONE ALONE!

im really tired. why do i have to go through so much hurdles in order to get something? is this predestined? or is it just to make a fool out of me? i really had enough of it! its turning me nuts!
why cant things remain as the same? why does it have to change? i really dont wish to think about it. im not in a position to make any decision. im SORRY.

MAYBE I MYSELF DOESNT EVEN REALLY KNOWS WHAT I REALLY WANTS.
PHERHAPS SOMEDAYS...

im too persistent on it.

maybe its time to let go. no use holding on if theres no return.

"LETTING GO DOESNT MEANS GIVING UP, ITS MEANS THAT SOMEHOW SOMETHING WERENT MEANT TO BE."

我想我习惯了忽略

去忽略没你的时间

不近不远走在谁身边

我想我适应了一切

原来是我 在爱上你的那瞬间

就困在围墙里面

谁都以为不听不看 也就没感觉

一转身 才发现 空气里面

依旧飘散着记忆的气味

IS KILLING ME! I REALLY DOESNT WISH TO MAKE ANY DECISION! JUST TAKE IT THAT IM SELFISH OR HEARTLESS! IM REALLY SORRY! IM NOT WORTH WAITING!

im feeling exhausted of the walking from raffles place to boat quay to clarke quay then chinatown. but in between had a cup of milk tea from mian le wu. had been thinking alot when im bus-ing back to ang mo kio. the most important thing i need to do is earn more money. to obtain my goal in 3 years or more. WAY TO GO!!! VANESSA POON JIAYI!!!

THANKS GUYS FOR THE WISHES.

was selected after 3 mins of interview. was so happy that i dont need to go for other interviews. strike at the first one. had to sign my contract tomorrow in the afternoon at raffles. lazy to go but still have to force myself to go. as it will be the income for my future studies. finally i can use my own abilities back to studies. but somehow i think i will spent all the salary and without any penny left.

THANKS GUYS FOR THE WISHES. LOVE YOU ALL LOTS.

woke up around 6 plus this morning. mum is back from her trip. the first thing she showed me was the LV wallet. i was so angry because she didnt buy the one i wanted. but the wallet wasnt for me. kinda down. preparing to go for my interview at raffles place. went out at around 10am and reached the place at around 10.50am. had to write down my particulars and waited for the interview. the interview ended faster than expected. had received lots of calls asking for an interview. tomorrow have to go to HILL STREET for an interview. doesnt even know where the place is. the interview is scheduled at 4pm. is so late. i hate interview scheduled at such timing. thursday interview is a better one, is located at ang mo kio. is kinda near to my house. interview is scheduled at 9am. is better and i can slack after the interview as i have to start work in october if possible i am employed. came home around 5 plus mum said that i can have the LV wallet. is better than nothing, although compared to the one i always wanted. these few days had been feeling nausea when i see food. dont even know what happened to me either.

i wish i can have my memories erased! i dont want my mind to flash through images that i dont want to. is so MADDENING! i simply hate it. or can someone brainwash me so that i wont feel so miserable. SOMEONE HELP!

GOOD LUCK FOR MY INTERVIEW TOMORROW!

lost and empty.

had been feeling empty and lost since morning. seems like a wandering soul. i really doesnt know what to do. with my LIFE and FUTURE. i dont see much future from here. had been struggling for days what to do. but somehow i dont seems to find an answer. life had been quite meaningless to me since months ago. cant seems to find a goal in life. had been job hopping here and there. i really doesnt know what should i be doing WORKING or STUDYING? study needs money, money comes from the income of working. is so VEXED! im turning NUTS sooner or later. cant really find someone to pour my problems to. can only pour my problems to this BLOG!

LOST AND EMPTY!

had been informed to go for an interview tomorrow at raffles place. i seems to have lazy bones growing in me just a few days of slacking. when i was on the phone with the person asking me to go for an interview, i had been pushing away and giving excuses to start on OCTOBER. i really dont know whats got into me. just feeling kind of laziness in me.

terrible gastric ever.

having terrible gastric ever. is so freaking painful. cant really endure with the pain anymore. wish i can open up and take away the pain.

GASTRIC GET AWAY FROM ME!